If we heard that once, we heard it a hundred times. Phaedra and I were in the back of the truck when this bossy female voice (no not our Mom) came on the GPS over and over again.
The maps were out in the front seat and Papa kept saying, “If you just stay on 78th Avenue it should go straight into Sable Palm Blvd. And, we kept holding on with every toenail we have.
Then, to make matters more interesting, Mom, who was driving, poked Papa and said, “Look!!! That’s a panther!” We didn’t believe our eyes as this really big, black cat calmly walked across the road in front of the truck. It was huge! Boy, am I glad that we didn’t stall or weren’t having a picnic outside. I would have been sandwich meat for that big cat. We were somewhere in the Picayune Strand State Forest not too far from Fakahatchee Strand Preserve State Park and in the middle of nowhere. The GPS voice thought we were in the 
middle of a swamp. Guess what, we were!
Phaedra and I heard Mom say that she hoped that we found the right road before the sun went down. I hid under my pillow. Then, Mom poked Papa again and said, “Bobcat!” They were so excited to see a Black Panther, a Bobcat, and 3 White-Tailed Deer. Forget about the alligators and birds – we have arrived in a totally different world by this time.
Guess what came next? The “road” turned into a mud hole and Mom drove through a lake that came up to the front bumper. The truck started to swish back and forth, and I thought “I’m not going swimming even if we get stuck out here. I don’t care if we don’t have cell phone reception or aren’t on the GPS, I’m not getting out of this truck.”
Phaedra was getting a tad anxious, too. After going across the lake, they came to another bigger lake and decided to turn around. Back across the first lake they went, but this time Papa told Mom to drive faster. Mud covered the front windshield and up the side of the door. We made 
it, though. In just a couple of minutes, another truck came toward us. The folks stopped the truck, which had two twenty-something guys and the biggest pit bull dog I’ve ever seen in the bed of the truck. The kids in the truck said that we were on the right road and that we could make it to Naples before dark. Sounds fun, right? NO! Anyway, the kids told us they’d lead us out so back through the flooded road we went. We were bumping and swerving along at a 
hundred miles an hour and I got carsick! It really was that bad! It took about 20 minutes and at least 50 flooded places before the kids pulled over and told us that all we had to do was to follow the new road and stay on it and we’d get home. We got back to cement roads just before the sun went down. I was so happy and Papa told Mom that he had wanted to get out and kiss the ground when he got out to thank the kids – who mom thought were right out of Deliverance!
What a terrible ride that was! I don’t know why the folks were so excited and had so much fun. Can you imagine? I don’t think we will go back there again. If I hear the name again, I am going to hide under the bed until they leave!
It was really cool seeing the Panther and the Bobcat, though. I guess it made it worth the ride to hear the folks talking about how rare Panthers are and how few people ever see the Florida Black Panther in the wild.
BTW, if you think anyone took pictures on the road from Hell, think again. They just tried to hang onto the “Oh, Jesus” handle or steering wheel and keep from hitting their heads on the roof.
Phaedra might be up to writing the dog blog again soon – once she recovers from this trip!
Hanging on by a toenail!
Zoe
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